I'm not from here |
According
to Ahmed the commander of this particular outpost was a bit ornery
which explains the two hour delay for no good reason. He was
apparently upset about us not camping next to their office the
previous night as opposed to outside the village where they could not
keep a protective eye upon us.
Finally,
we were released and began our drive toward the monolith of Ben Amira
and the small village of the same name. Ben Amira the monolith is
reputed to be the largest of its kind in Africa and second (in size)
only to Uluru (Ayer's Rock) in Australia. There are a bunch of
similar outcrops dotting the horizon as you approach but Mr. Amira is
by far the most significant. The landscape (monoliths, desert, dunes,
etc.) combined with the ramshackle village is the stuff of
surrealistic dreams, the kind that haunt you long after you wake.
Hard to describe but breathtakingly beautiful.
Derailment is not an infrequent occurrence. Driving that train, high on cocaine, Casey Jones is ready, watch your speed.... |
We
stopped once again at the local gendarmerie office to check in. By
this time an electrical problem had arisen with our vehicle. Ahmed
said there was an issue with a fuse so he and some locals spent time
playing mechanic. This was not a problem as it allowed Leslie and
I some time to soak in the surroundings, snap some photos, and engage
some of the local children as they attempted to cajole a cadeau
(gift) or two from us.
After
a spell Ahmed assured us the problem was fixed so we went off in the
direction of Ben Amira's 'wife' Aisha, a similarly intriguing, but
not quite as massive, monolith not far from Benny. Here you will find
some interesting stone sculptures created as part of a millennium
commemoration by 16 international sculptors in 1999. Very cool.
After
a circuit of Aisha we stopped beneath an outcrop for the all
important tea interval. It was at this time that Ahmed began laying
out his future business plan and his intent to open his own auberge
(inn) in Nouadhibou. He was looking for someone to run it and began a
not so subtle pitch directed at a certain redhead in our party.
Curiously, this was the second time he began lobbing hints at Leslie.
And, just like the first, his spiel began while I was out of earshot
(taking pictures on this occasion). When I entered the conversation
it did not occur to me that only one of us was qualified for the
position. I briefly entertained the idea of working for Ahmed and
engaging in some sort of tourism enterprise in Mauritania. There
appears to be a lot of potential for growth and the landscape sells
itself. However, I was not his intended target as we would soon
learn. Ahmed had big plans alright, I just was
not part of them.
On
the way back we stopped on the opposite side of Ben Amira (monolith)
and did a bit of frolicking in the dunes. Ahmed asked me to snap a
few pictures of his truck to place on his not-yet-existing website. I
happily obliged. We then made our way back to the village .
There goes my baby (oooo girl look at you), you don't know how good it feels to call you my girl, there goes my baby, loving everything you do (oooo girl look at you).... |
This picture is funny on so many, many levels. |
Photo by Leslie |
Although
we were planning to sleep in the area we were in need of some diesel,
at least enough to get us to Choum (next village) the following
morning. First we were told that no diesel was available and that we
would have to wait until Choum. However, after a few moments we
learned that some had been 'acquired' from the mining company that
owns the railroad. Nothing like the purchase of stolen fuel to set
the mood. Scandalous.
While
I stood on the tracks and did a little filming Leslie, Ahmed, and
Shady Fuel Salesman went for a short drive to load up on 20 liters of
fuel. I thought nothing of this. I'm ignorant. In the meantime I
blabbed into the camera and then engaged a small child and an adult
in a game of 'Knock Shit Over With A Rock'. I would set up some tin
cans and a plastic bottle or two and the three of us would take turns
firing rocks at them from the comfort of our train track perch. All
found this amusing.
When
they returned Leslie wore a curious countenance and merely responded
'It was interesting' when I inquired about the venture. Clearly, she
had a lot to share but would have to wait until Ahmed was otherwise
engaged. So we drove about a kilometer away from the village and set
up camp for the night. Ahmed then realized he needed some coal for
the fire so he hopped in the truck and headed back to Ben Amira.
Now
Leslie shared. Apparently, Ahmed saw an opportunity to speak to
Leslie out of my presence and took it (Carpe f***ing diem!). Thus
began the wooing……alooooooot of wooing. He told Leslie he was
looking for a wife and that he wanted to have two more children.
Something about having kids to pass on his fortune or what not and
how in the absence of children (what about his 10-year-old son?) his
possessions would pass on to his mother and sister. What a tragedy.
He pointed out that he may look older but he is actually
young/youthful and has a lot of life left in him. Then came the
assault upon my character as he impugned my 'system' and our Dutch
pay (as in split the costs) relationship. He is really fond of the
phrase 'For example' and used it incessantly. So imagine the look on
Leslie's face when he said something like, 'If you were my wife, for
example, you would not have to pay for anything. Mauritanian women do
not have to pay for anything.' Uh-huuuh.
I have
since discovered that Mauritania men have somewhat of a 'all's fair
in love and war' attitude. I was irritated if not severely vexed.
Indeed, Ahmed had started to get on both of our nerves by this point.
But what to do? All things being equal I would merely instruct
G-money to 'step off' so to speak. But, alas, all was not equal. Here
we were somewhere in the Mauritanian desert basically at the mercy of
a man we knew very little about. My instincts told me he was harmless
and was bound to ensure our safety if for no other reason than to
safeguard his reputation. After all, he is a business man. On the
other hand the possibility of 'hell hath no fury like a Mauritanian
man's scorn' did have a solid foothold in my reasoning. Cupid is a
devious little bastard.
And
then there is the Al Qaeda factor. Currently, foreign government
travel warnings range somewhere between 'You'd
have to be an a**hole to go there' and
'Sure
you can go, only when you get there lock yourself in a room and
emerge only for food and water' (See USA, Australia, UK,
and Canada for
starters). Why the dire warnings? Well, there have been some
kidnapping issues in the past couple of years and there seems to be
some concern as to the growing presence of Al
Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb (AQIM)
to include Algeria, Niger, Mauritania, and Mali. For a recent story
go here.
For even more recent story go here.
[Author's
Note: The situation has only continued to deteriorate since my trip
there. Would I make a second visit if the opportunity presented
itself? Probably, but I'm kind of an idiot.]
Status during my visit (November 2010) |
So one
might ask why the 'F' would we chose Mauritania? Yes, it sounds crazy
but it is important to take a step back. As with almost everything
all is not what it seems. For one thing there are a significant
amount of expats living in Mauritania, albeit most reside in the
capital of Nouakchott. In fact I corresponded with a former Peace
Corps volunteer living and working in the capital before we arrived.
She advised me that it is a personal decision. Yes, there is a risk
but it is not quite at the level presented in the current literature
and that smart choices are paramount. The far east and northeast
section of the country are no-nos but the Adrar (the place we were
headed to) was supposedly safe (or at least safe-ish).
[Author's
Note: It appears, as I have mentioned above, the situation continues
to deteriorate. Areas that were kind of sort of OK are now off
limits. Nouadihbou would be the most salient example. Too dangerous
to go? Still not sure. People are still making their way there
sooooooo.......I suppose one should do the research and then decide.
Pack a spare AK and a few bonus RPGs.]
Current status (March 2012) |
However,
all of this did start swirling to the forefront of my mind when
deciding whether or not to confront Ahmed. I figured it if I did not
do so he would assume Leslie told me nothing and would interpret that
as an open invitation to continue the wooing festival.
When
he returned from his coal gathering I welcomed him with, 'Ahhhmed,
Hay problema contigo' ('I have a problem with you' in Spanish). The
jig was up and the look on his face was one akin to a child
exclaiming, 'Uhhhh-Ohhhhh!' I basically let him know that I did not
appreciate him putting the moves on my 'fiancé' (a little fib to
make him squirm) and that his actions were 'very, very bad'. He
switched into defense mode and told me that he would not do anything
to disrespect his clients and that he was very sorry for the
misunderstanding.
Clearly,
Leslie 'no comprend pas' (did not understand) what he was saying. His
English is bad, Leslie does not speak French or Spanish, blah, blah,
yaddy, yah… In other words he was a Big Fat Liar Face and was close
to pooping in his robe. Leslie, within earshot of our cross-legged
face to face pow-wow was more than a little irritated by the
implication. No one could blame her but I felt I had to give him a
chance to save face and carry on making it up to us. I accepted his
apology and waited for the impending awkwardness.
It
started while we were preparing dinner in the form of a couple of
snide comments about Leslie's inability to understand him. He did it
in a chauvinistic 'women are all silly little fools' kind of way.
Leslie wanted to throttle him. I considered holding him while she did
so. But we refrained. The awkwardness culminated after dinner when he
left camp to visit the gendarmerie shack a kilometer or so in the
village of Ben Amira. He basically left us there alone in the desert
at night with nothing but government travel warnings to think about.
I wonder what the going rate is for an American male and female?
Ahmed was probably bargaining as we chilled out in the desert trying
not to think about it. Yippie.
I
figure Leslie had nothing to worry about. I was the one he probably
wanted to make disappear (My head would make one hell of a
mantelpiece). We distracted ourselves by lying in the sand, breathing
in the cool desert air, and contemplating the night sky. All things
considered it was a magnificent evening made more so by the viewing
of a large meteorite fireball in the sky, the largest I have ever
seen. Ahmed returned not long after we crawled into our tent. No late
night assault. No roving bandits. He just crawled inside his tent and
fell asleep. Pheeeew......for now.
Photo by Leslie |
Photo by Leslie |
Dinner (Photo by Leslie) |
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