Wanna
be rich? Famous? Insanely beautiful? Immortal? If you could have one
wish what would it be? A silly question I suppose and one that is
nothing short of a cliché but still: What if? Perhaps the answer can
tell you something about yourself. Perhaps not. So what would mine
be? It's a close call. I cannot deny my yearning for immortality
which stems, not so much from a fear of dying, but from a burning
curiosity about the fate of mankind. The fate of the world, of the
human race is far from certain. How will the story end? Asteroid?
Pestilence? Nuclear winter? Alien invasion? Tribbles?
And
then you have books to consider. Walking into a bookstore or library
always fills with me an overwhelming sense of possibility and
anticipation. So much knowledge. So little time. Imagine if you could
read them all.
Immortality
intrigues me but in the end I feel endless days might breed a sort of
existential lethargy. Life's temporality is what makes existence so
undeniably precious and beautiful. Take it away and what do you
have? There is only so much time. Only so many places to see, people
to meet, books to read. If I had all the time in the world would I
truly appreciate the nature of existence? Not likely. Can I, or
anyone else for that matter, even appreciate it now?
My
wish is of a much more prosaic nature. If granted one wish, by a
denizen of a magic lamp for example, it would be this: To remember
every single moment of my life as if it just happened. Wellllllllll,
maybe not every moment. I can probably do without womb recollections
and I'd just assume forget the instant I breached the birth canal.
Just to be safe I'll go with every moment after my first year of
life. Not much more than eating, sleeping, and shitting in that
chapter.
Every
moment. Imagine it. Besides the obvious advantage of having a
better-than-photographic memory instant recall would, ideally, enrich
your life with a rare type of wisdom making it easier to avoid
repeating your mistakes (at least theoretically). Imagine remembering
every person you ever met, every place you'd ever been, every emotion
you'd ever experienced. Of course, you would have to take the good
with the bad for in my scenario the painful memories are as vivid as
the good ones. We have all have things we wish we could forget but
should we? A philosopher once wrote that the key to mastering the art
of living has a direct relation to how we make use of suffering. The
fact is many of the most interesting people you will meet are usually
those that have suffered. It is just as much a part of life as
happiness and I wonder how much improved the world might be if
everyone were constantly reminded of painful experiences. Keep the
pain close to you. Use it.
For
me, and I am sure I am not alone, there are few worse fates than a
degenerative brain disease such as Alzheimer's (not to be outdone by
premature burial or burning alive), an insidious affliction that
wipes memories from our mortal hard drive like a master hacker. Even
in the absence of illness how much of our lives do we actually
remember? Half? A third? Less? What a tragedy. It is our memories,
our experiences that make us who we are. I want them all. Every
trifle. Every epiphany. Every triumph. Every embarrassment.
Everything.
You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phrase: make use of suffering.
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'Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference.' -- Libbie Fudim